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After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, 2nd Edition, by Janis A. Spring
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“Dr. Spring possesses a remarkable combination of clarity, wisdom, spirit, and heart. This is an extremely helpful and healing book—a gift to us all.”
—Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger
“It is ‘must’ reading for any couple who has experienced the violation of trust as a result of an affair.”
—Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.
A staggering number of couples in America—about 70 percent—have been affected by extramarital affairs. After the Affair is the only book to offer proven strategies for surviving the crisis and rebuilding the relationship. Written by Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., a nationally known therapist and acknowledged expert on infidelity, this revised and updated version brings the groundbreaking classic into the 21st century, with a new section dealing with online affairs in cyberspace. For women who are struggling in their marriage—and for clinicians, psychology academics and readers fascinated by of popular psychology—this newly revised and updated edition of After the Affair is essential reading.
- Sales Rank: #4443 in Books
- Published on: 2012-09-04
- Released on: 2012-09-04
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x .79" w x 5.31" l, .55 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 352 pages
From the Back Cover
After the Affair teaches partners how to heal themselves and grow from the shattering crisis of an infidelity. Drawing on thirty-five years as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Spring offers a series of original and proven strategies that address such questions as: * Why did it happen? * Once love and trust are gone, can we ever get them back? * Can I—should I—recommit when I feel so ambivalent? * How do we become sexually intimate again? * Is forgiveness possible? * What constitutes an affair in cyberspace?
About the Author
Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., is a nationally acclaimed expert on issues of trust, intimacy, and forgiveness. In private practice in Westport, Connecticut, she is the author of the award-winning How Can I Forgive You?, The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To, and Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent.
Most helpful customer reviews
303 of 307 people found the following review helpful.
If you were exposed to infidelity, please purchase this book
By Brian
If you're looking into this book and reading this review, chances are you have been devastated by infidelity recently. This book is straight forward and has helped me realize that my feelings towards my wife's infidelity are not only normal, but are something that I can overcome. I was absolutely shocked how the author hit the nail on the head with real world examples of exactly how i feel. I'm not done with the book yet but so far I have not been able to put it down. My wife and I are working on making our marriage work so I am having her read this book with me each night so she can understand my emotions and help herself deal with what lead her to cheat in the first place. This book is perfect- it helps both the hurt partner and the unfaithful partner understand their actions, their reactions to themselves and each other, and how to cope with ending or continuing your marriage.
I was hesitant to purchase this because just reading the title stings a little. It's a terrible reminder of something that should never happen between two loving people. I feel like it takes a bold person to purchase a book like this because it seems so much easier to not think about the things that hurt us. I'm just a regular guy, not endorsed by the publisher or amazon, but I can tell you that the best thing you could do for yourself or your marriage is to add this book to your amazon cart and start healing the right way. Realize that your feelings are common and you're not crazy, irrational, or undesireable as you might think.
What do you have to lose? The book was under ten dollars, cheap in regards to what I believe it's worth. Be strong enough to seek guidance because you are not alone. Good luck.
72 of 74 people found the following review helpful.
A light in the pitch black darkness!
By Happy_Mama(:
Exactly what I needed. I purchased this in spite of some of the negative reviews I saw. I, unlike those individuals, wanted something that I thought would offer the most neutral perspective possible. I felt that continuing to victimize myself was not productive. This book was able to, without blaming me, help me learn how to share the responsibility with my spouse. To me, that feels slightly better than looking at my spouse as this villain. If you are looking for an book we that will solve an affair for you, you won't find one. What this did for me is reaseure me that all the chaos in my mind right now is normal. It out words to feelings I'm having that I couldn't identify myself. It also helped me to think of my spouses feelings and view him as a person instead of a monster. The author does not take sides. That is what I wanted. If you at looking for someone to encourage you to leave your spouse, or to attack your partner's mistakes, this is not the book for you. If you are some or who genuinely wants to try to explore the possibility of working things out or learning to forgive, buy this book now and get started. I read it in 2 days and am now going to read it with my spouse. I am optimistic for the first time since learning that my life was a lie. This was what I needed.
28 of 29 people found the following review helpful.
A worthy read for difficult times.
By Lazy Goat
I started reading this book six weeks after my husband admitted his affair. It explained everything I was going through and also gave me insight into my husband's state of mind. The book is not intended to fix your marriage or provide answers, but it will help you direct your thoughts in a positive, productive direction. I am glad I read this book when I did. The most important thing I took away from this book is that feeling insane is normal after you have been deceived. Also the section on stay vs. go gave me some points to think about to decide when trying to decide if I wanted to fix my relationship or leave. The book was easy to read and is insightful for both partners. I recommend it in conjunction with counseling. If you are reading this review, I wish you luck on this painful journey. I also recommend "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron to help you with your journey to healing from this experience.
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